6 Reasons Not to Criticise Your Child By Ruth Edensor

Have you ever been critical of your children in hope that you will get them to behave the way that you want them to? I saw this in action the other day when a mother was in the shops with her children and she shouted at her son (about 8 years old) saying in a nasty tone, ‘What did you do that for? Can’t you see everyone looking at you, thinking how horrible you are’? The look on the boys face made me feel embarrassed and rather than think he was horrible I felt sorry and upset for him.

Why is it that being critical just seems to be universally accepted within our society? We must all have done it and certainly been on the receiving end of it, yet if people gave some thought as to just how damaging criticism is, I am sure more people would think twice about doing it.

If you want your children to grow up happy confident and well behaved, criticising your child is not the way to go about it. Just think about how it makes you feel when anyone criticises you? I know it never makes me feel like I would like to do better or work harder.

6 reasons not to criticise your children;

1. Being critical of children can lead to long term emotional damage, and can be the cause of phobias, compulsive behaviours, inferiority complexes, nervousness and amongst other things, cause children to be self conscious.

2. Children who are perpetually criticised are more likely to grow up afraid to use their initiative, be self critical, lack ambition and have little confidence in their own abilities and self worth.

3. Being critical is a negative thing to do and all negative thoughts and actions attract negative thoughts and actions back.

4. Being critical will not bring out the best in your children or encourage a loving affectionate relationship, but it is likely to make them feel resentful towards you. Is this what you want?

5. They are likely to grow up critical of others, particularly behind their back and blame others for their mistakes, making them reluctant to learn from their own mistakes.

6. Children may grow up to be extravagant; they may start over spending to try to feel that they have to prove that they are as good as everyone else.

If you feel that your child is behaving in any of the negative ways mentioned above, it is worth checking yourself out to see if you are being too critical of them.

You may find yourself justifying your criticism by saying things such as ‘Yes but he was behaving really badly’, or ‘Well, they were being really nasty’, just try to remember it is always destructive and never encourages long term good behaviour in your children. Using a more positive approach to your children’s behaviour can be hard work at first and you may like some ideas on how to do this. If you understand more about your children's behaviour you are much more likely to help them to feel good about themselves which what most of us want for our children.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=425200&ca=Parenting

How do You Know if Your Child is Using Drugs? By Amy Cainfield

Most parents today agree that drug use by our teenagers is one of our greatest fears.

Since the inception of DARE programs across the country, many schools are teaching the dangers of drugs and kids ARE paying attention. Part of the DARE curriculum is to work with the parents, too.

By doing so, parents are taught about warning signs to look for, such as changes in friends, changes in wardrobe, becoming more and more isolated and children who may have more volatile personalities; some parents may have the unfortunate task of finding remnants of drug use.

Other people, usually childless couples and sometimes parents of children of their own, take the opinion of “Well, not my kid....he knows better!”

Oh, if it were to be always true!!

Through these school programs, the media, support groups and friends, the majority of parents DO have the tools and the knowledge to protect their kids from a life of drugs and other poor choices.

The task at hand is getting the parents to address it with the kids. It can be uncomfortable and it seems more uncomfortable to ask if your child isn’t doing drugs.

But doing it honestly and with a sincere heart and concern will convey to your child that you DO love them and you want to help. Not to punish them...that is not the end goal. You must ask from a place of love and support but just be direct and honest. Approaching the matter at hand in this way, if the child wants help but doesn’t know how to ask for it, being direct may be the way the door opens within the family.

Be prepared for whatever answer you get, though. They may be extremely relieved that now the “cat is out of the bag” so to speak and this will be the prime opportunity to start the healing process and get the child to a treatment facility and prepare the whole family for therapy.

You may get a vehement, “NO, I’m NOT using drugs!! Don’t you trust me???” And, you may just open up a whole new line of communication that will lead to further trust and accountability for the whole family!

There are children who choose to “experiment” with drugs once in a while. It may be more of a challenge to spot any of the signs and symptoms of very occasional and sporadic drug use. But, if you suspect it at all, just ask!

This is also an optimal time to start an ongoing dialogue with your teen about the dangers of even recreational use of drugs, the dangers of those drugs and the less than reasonable choices people in general tend to make while they are under the influence.

Again, having this ongoing dialogue and making yourself approachable will further their trust with you and, even when parents aren’t around, your teen will remember all the trust and love there is being invested in them.

If these direct approach methods don’t work and all the signs point to a resounding yes, perhaps the next step is to purchase a home drug screen kit and check in the privacy of your own home.

If it’s negative, GREAT! Not only do you have good news and reassurance, for the time being, it is also a time to embrace your child and remind him or her, exactly how much you love them and how much you do trust them.

If the test comes back positive, then you have all sorts of options to explore but make no mistake, you may have just saved your own child’s life.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=423278&ca=Parenting

5 Key Steps to Teach Your Child to Become Self Aware By Ruth Edensor

Being self aware means that you are conscious of what you are doing and how it affects your life, in other words you understand that if you do a certain thing you will get a certain result. As adults we know that this is not always easy to and that we usually have to work hard to remember to do it. If you teach your children to grow up self aware you are giving them vital tools to build the life of their dreams. They will be able to understand who they are, what their skills, weakness and strengths are and how their behaviour affects others and their selves.
They will also be able to;

•Self motivate

•Improve social skills

•Set goals and work towards them

•Show empathy towards others

•Manage their feelings appropriately

•Solve problems

•Keep themselves safe

•Stay healthy

•Find out what they enjoy doing

•Understand the consequences of their actions

I am sure you agree that the benefits are huge.
Here are 5 steps to help you teach your child to become self aware.

1.Have some quiet time.

You need to give your child some peace and quiet if they are to become self aware because it is then that they can stop thinking about everything that is around them and just listen to their own thoughts and feelings.
Having no music, TV, computers or other distractions and activities will benefit even very small children because it is then that they listen to every day sounds and really get to know there environment, which also helps them with their speech and language skills. So turn off the everyday distractions and enjoy some quiet time each day.

2.Be a good role model.

If you practise being self aware yourself then it is going to be very likely that your children will follow you naturally as you pass it on.

3.Coach and guide them.

By coaching and guiding your child to be self aware constantly and routinely, it will become second nature and a habit.

4.Help them to be reflective

When your child has done something positive or negative you can help them to reflect on what they have done to help them to see the consequences of their actions. For example asking them, “How did that make you feel?” Or, “What went well when you did that?” “What could you do differently to get a better result?” “What did you learn?”

5.Use positive parenting techniques.

Positive parenting techniques encourage children to think about what they are doing. If you are just dictating and telling your children what to do all they will learn to do as they are told without questioning. On the other hand if you have taught them to reason and think for them selves you will find that they will be self directing and think and plan ahead for themselves instead of waiting to be told what to do.

Doing these 5 things consistently everyday means that you will most definitely be successful in teaching your children to be self aware and give them a great start in life.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=423947&ca=Parenting

Is Your Child Having Behavioural Problems at School? By Ruth Edensor

If you are having difficulty with your child’s behaviour at school, you can sometimes be at a loss of what to do about it. After all what can you do from a distance if you are not in the class? It is vital that the teacher knows how to use effective strategies of managing behaviour in the class, but you do have the power to make a difference if you work with the teacher. A teacher can not single out one child to give special attention or rewards so this is where you come in. While you can’t make a contribution in the class you can make a huge difference by doing certain things when they are at home. these principles are ideal for all ages of children just, however this example is aimed at the younger child and you can adapt it to suit your child's age.

If for instance the teacher says to you,” Your little Charlie won’t listen to a word I say and is always pushing the other children,” this is what I suggest that you do.

1 Make an appointment to see your child’s teacher in private without your child at a mutually convenient time.

2. When you see the teacher ask them what they see the problem as being. Lets say it’s Charlie won’t listen and pushes the other children.

3. Ask the teacher to work on one problem at a time with you, you might like to ask her which one. Lets use Listening to the teacher.

4. Tell the teacher that you will give Charlie some rules about listening when the teacher is talking and that you will show him how to do this when he is at home, by taking turns when others are talking and waiting for them to finish and encouraging hime to listen to you.

5. Ask the teacher to tell you each day how he has got on, particularily any improvements no matter how slight. Remember to ask the teacher for the best way to do this. She might use a home school diary or say that you can see her at the end of class on certain day’s or daily.

6. Ask the teacher if there is anything else that they would like you to do?

7. After the meeting talk to your child and explain some rules about listening in class, make this positive and point out something that they are doing well, such as the teacher says that you are really good at drawing. You could say that the teacher would like you to sit and listen some more and how great it would be to show the teacher just how good you are at sitting and listening.

8. Use some form of praise and rewards system to encourage this good behaviour, ie sticker charts. When you get a positive response from the teacher that your child has listened more, you can give lots of verbal praise and perhaps a reward such as a trip to the park on the way home or a sticker to show how pleased you are.

9. As you see improvements and the teacher says that the problem is solved or very much better, you can talk again with the teacher about any other issues.

This method will help to focus on the behaviour that you want from your child which encourages more of that behaviour and makes your child more willing to cooperate.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=422054&ca=Parenting

Dress up Your Child With Infant Costumes By Raymond Plona

In case you felt that shopping for clothes for your toddler son or daughter is a daunting task then you stand corrected as that was history. Given the variety of infant costumes, this task can actually be fun. Designers have incorporated them in their design lines. This is all because of an increase in the demand of infant costumes. A huge variety of baby and toddler wear is flooding the markets from where they may be picked up easily. Halloween, birthday parties, and fancy dress parties or on any special event of parties are some occasions when kids love to dress up.

Kids always love to dress up themselves and the best time for them to dress up is of course, undoubtedly Halloween. As Halloween is the time of scary fun such infant costumes as Harry potter costumes, Spiderman, superman costumes and little cute witch costumes. Children also love animals and wearing an animal costume will be a treat for them. Animal infant costumes like little bunny, elephant, pig, monkey, dragon, green frog, dinosaur, lion, and puppy are chart toppers. Even pumpkin tunics are also in vogue.

For parties like fancy dress balls or those having specific themes, the princess and dancer costumes look very good. If the party theme is historical, or multi-ethnic or story telling or nativity, obtain costumes that fit the occasion. Good suggestions would include Victorian Gent, Elizabethan Juliet, Mary Tudor, Henry Tudor, Egyptian Cleopatra in the category of Historical; Kimono, African Boy in the category of multi – cultural; Angel, Mary in the category of nativity; Aladdin, Cowgirl, Bee, Bride, Dalmatian Dog in the category of story – time; Cheerleader, nurse, police officer, chef.

It is quite often seen that girl costumes are comparatively easier to find than boy costumes. But there is no need to think much about that, as there are many infant costumes for you baby boy. While buying boy costumes for your baby boy you can look for such dresses as wizard costume, pumpkin and spooky spider costumes, Harry potter costumes, little pirates costumes, and even from Disney characters like monster Inc. for Halloween parties; gallant Knight, groom, Bunny, Frog prince, Dragon, doctor, kimono, chef, police officer, Buzz light-year, Spiderman, even other Disney characters like from the incredible and the likes for either theme or fancy dress parties.

These costumes are available in many colours and sizes. It is now easy to choose what will fit your child the best. Don’t forget that sometimes costume is the language kids choose to speak in.

Before selecting your boy costumes or infant costumes there are certain things, which should be kept in mind. Firstly look for the materials used to make the costumes. They should not cause discomfort to your child. Kids; skin are prone to rashes and infections so while buying costumes it should be taken care that the baby is not allergic to the type of materials used to make the attire. Secondly, see whether any piece of the costume is causing harm to your baby. Thirdly it should not be too tight or too loose. If the costume is too tight there is a possibility that your baby suffocates on the contrary if it is too loose your baby could tumble and fall and hurt itself.

As per previous discussion, shopping for young ones is no more a difficult or boring job. The task of buying infant costumes can be done sitting at home by using the internet. Many online showrooms offer girls and boy costumes. There are many methods by which the purchase can also be made online. Just visit the sites and check out their catalogues which are often separate for girls and boys. Some sites are very specifically for boy costumes.

Those websites offering infant costumes are:

• www.costumecraze.com

• www.wondercostumes.com

• www.anytimecostumes.com

• www.infashionkids.com

• www.halloweenexpress.com

And here are some, exclusively for boy costumes:

Halloweencostumes4kids.com

www.costumehub.com

www.halloweenexpress.com

www.importcostumes.com

www.buycostumes.com

So what are you waiting for go get your baby the best-suited baby costume for the parties.
Happy Buying!

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=422016&ca=Parenting

Dress up Your Child With Infant Costumes By Raymond Plona

In case you felt that shopping for clothes for your toddler son or daughter is a daunting task then you stand corrected as that was history. Given the variety of infant costumes, this task can actually be fun. Designers have incorporated them in their design lines. This is all because of an increase in the demand of infant costumes. A huge variety of baby and toddler wear is flooding the markets from where they may be picked up easily. Halloween, birthday parties, and fancy dress parties or on any special event of parties are some occasions when kids love to dress up.

Kids always love to dress up themselves and the best time for them to dress up is of course, undoubtedly Halloween. As Halloween is the time of scary fun such infant costumes as Harry potter costumes, Spiderman, superman costumes and little cute witch costumes. Children also love animals and wearing an animal costume will be a treat for them. Animal infant costumes like little bunny, elephant, pig, monkey, dragon, green frog, dinosaur, lion, and puppy are chart toppers. Even pumpkin tunics are also in vogue.

For parties like fancy dress balls or those having specific themes, the princess and dancer costumes look very good. If the party theme is historical, or multi-ethnic or story telling or nativity, obtain costumes that fit the occasion. Good suggestions would include Victorian Gent, Elizabethan Juliet, Mary Tudor, Henry Tudor, Egyptian Cleopatra in the category of Historical; Kimono, African Boy in the category of multi – cultural; Angel, Mary in the category of nativity; Aladdin, Cowgirl, Bee, Bride, Dalmatian Dog in the category of story – time; Cheerleader, nurse, police officer, chef.

It is quite often seen that girl costumes are comparatively easier to find than boy costumes. But there is no need to think much about that, as there are many infant costumes for you baby boy. While buying boy costumes for your baby boy you can look for such dresses as wizard costume, pumpkin and spooky spider costumes, Harry potter costumes, little pirates costumes, and even from Disney characters like monster Inc. for Halloween parties; gallant Knight, groom, Bunny, Frog prince, Dragon, doctor, kimono, chef, police officer, Buzz light-year, Spiderman, even other Disney characters like from the incredible and the likes for either theme or fancy dress parties.

These costumes are available in many colours and sizes. It is now easy to choose what will fit your child the best. Don’t forget that sometimes costume is the language kids choose to speak in.

Before selecting your boy costumes or infant costumes there are certain things, which should be kept in mind. Firstly look for the materials used to make the costumes. They should not cause discomfort to your child. Kids; skin are prone to rashes and infections so while buying costumes it should be taken care that the baby is not allergic to the type of materials used to make the attire. Secondly, see whether any piece of the costume is causing harm to your baby. Thirdly it should not be too tight or too loose. If the costume is too tight there is a possibility that your baby suffocates on the contrary if it is too loose your baby could tumble and fall and hurt itself.

As per previous discussion, shopping for young ones is no more a difficult or boring job. The task of buying infant costumes can be done sitting at home by using the internet. Many online showrooms offer girls and boy costumes. There are many methods by which the purchase can also be made online. Just visit the sites and check out their catalogues which are often separate for girls and boys. Some sites are very specifically for boy costumes.

Those websites offering infant costumes are:

• www.costumecraze.com

• www.wondercostumes.com

• www.anytimecostumes.com

• www.infashionkids.com

• www.halloweenexpress.com

And here are some, exclusively for boy costumes:

Halloweencostumes4kids.com

www.costumehub.com

www.halloweenexpress.com

www.importcostumes.com

www.buycostumes.com

So what are you waiting for go get your baby the best-suited baby costume for the parties.
Happy Buying!

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=422016&ca=Parenting

Take the Sexual Pressure Off Your Teen By Amy Cainfield

“YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! GET SOME! GET SOME! YEAH! SEX! SEX! SEX!” (Joe, Family Guy, television show.)

With quotes such as this readily within earshot with just a flick of the TV remote, how are adolescents and teens not pressured to find out what the fuss regarding sex is all about? From TV shows to advertisements, to peers, to the internet, it is in their faces, constantly.

Sexual innuendo in the advertising world, alone, is bountiful. Whether it is on TV, the radio or online, in a magazine or on a billboard, we are exposed to ads with sexual undertones all over the place. Teens see them, too, and have an innate curiosity about it – especially when the models they see are people who appear to be about their own age.

Merely driving down the road, one can clearly see billboards that are sexually suggestive. Take, for instance, the new Mini billboards: “The paint is still wet. You?”

Face it, people, it’s right there, all around us, every single day, merely because, as advertisers would claim: Sex sells. However, there are things that you can do to keep your adolescent from buying into what our society sells so well.

So, do not think, even for one second, that you, as a parent, have been put into a full-nelson wrestling hold, because there are things you can do.

Aside from setting the parental controls on your home family computer, you can also talk to your children about which sites they frequently visit.

If they are members of social networking sites, then talk to them about the dangers of MySpace. Create your own profile and befriend your child. You will probably learn a lot about with whom they are spending most of their free time, and that will help keep you in the loop, and possibly save you from any unwanted surprises down the road.

Parents who make excuses like, “Oh, I can’t keep up with the quickly changing technology,” and ones who make comments such as, “My kid knows more about computers than I do,” are parents who are giving up too easily.

When parents take a step to create their own profile and become “friends” with their son or daughter, it helps keep them connected to their child and the social ring in which they fall.

What many parents do not realize is that their children want their mothers and fathers to be very much a part of their everyday lives.

Make sure your child’s television watching is restricted – especially late at night. If you ever find your mouth gaping at what you see and hear on the TV screen on prime time television, then that might leave your imagination soaring as to what comes on after you go to bed and your kid is still up watching TV. Set limits. You, the parent, have a right to do so.

Parents, you are more of an influence on your child’s life than you think. Even if they seem like they do the opposite of what you want them to, when they are with a group of friends, all those talks you have had regarding sex and abstinence with your child will come rushing to the forefront of her mind, and she will most likely make the right decision.

Peer pressure can be an issue, but parent pressure holds more weight on decision-making in social settings. They look up to you. They trust you. They realize you have been around longer and know more about what’s going on in the world than they do – even when they refuse to admit it.

The more you talk to your adolescents and teens about abstinence, the more likely they will be to practice it. Whether or not it is apparent to you, your teen is watching you and listening intently to your every word: never stop playing the positive role model, at any cost.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=423280&ca=Parenting