How do You Know if Your Child is Using Drugs? By Amy Cainfield

Most parents today agree that drug use by our teenagers is one of our greatest fears.

Since the inception of DARE programs across the country, many schools are teaching the dangers of drugs and kids ARE paying attention. Part of the DARE curriculum is to work with the parents, too.

By doing so, parents are taught about warning signs to look for, such as changes in friends, changes in wardrobe, becoming more and more isolated and children who may have more volatile personalities; some parents may have the unfortunate task of finding remnants of drug use.

Other people, usually childless couples and sometimes parents of children of their own, take the opinion of “Well, not my kid....he knows better!”

Oh, if it were to be always true!!

Through these school programs, the media, support groups and friends, the majority of parents DO have the tools and the knowledge to protect their kids from a life of drugs and other poor choices.

The task at hand is getting the parents to address it with the kids. It can be uncomfortable and it seems more uncomfortable to ask if your child isn’t doing drugs.

But doing it honestly and with a sincere heart and concern will convey to your child that you DO love them and you want to help. Not to punish them...that is not the end goal. You must ask from a place of love and support but just be direct and honest. Approaching the matter at hand in this way, if the child wants help but doesn’t know how to ask for it, being direct may be the way the door opens within the family.

Be prepared for whatever answer you get, though. They may be extremely relieved that now the “cat is out of the bag” so to speak and this will be the prime opportunity to start the healing process and get the child to a treatment facility and prepare the whole family for therapy.

You may get a vehement, “NO, I’m NOT using drugs!! Don’t you trust me???” And, you may just open up a whole new line of communication that will lead to further trust and accountability for the whole family!

There are children who choose to “experiment” with drugs once in a while. It may be more of a challenge to spot any of the signs and symptoms of very occasional and sporadic drug use. But, if you suspect it at all, just ask!

This is also an optimal time to start an ongoing dialogue with your teen about the dangers of even recreational use of drugs, the dangers of those drugs and the less than reasonable choices people in general tend to make while they are under the influence.

Again, having this ongoing dialogue and making yourself approachable will further their trust with you and, even when parents aren’t around, your teen will remember all the trust and love there is being invested in them.

If these direct approach methods don’t work and all the signs point to a resounding yes, perhaps the next step is to purchase a home drug screen kit and check in the privacy of your own home.

If it’s negative, GREAT! Not only do you have good news and reassurance, for the time being, it is also a time to embrace your child and remind him or her, exactly how much you love them and how much you do trust them.

If the test comes back positive, then you have all sorts of options to explore but make no mistake, you may have just saved your own child’s life.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=423278&ca=Parenting

Take the Sexual Pressure Off Your Teen By Amy Cainfield

“YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! GET SOME! GET SOME! YEAH! SEX! SEX! SEX!” (Joe, Family Guy, television show.)

With quotes such as this readily within earshot with just a flick of the TV remote, how are adolescents and teens not pressured to find out what the fuss regarding sex is all about? From TV shows to advertisements, to peers, to the internet, it is in their faces, constantly.

Sexual innuendo in the advertising world, alone, is bountiful. Whether it is on TV, the radio or online, in a magazine or on a billboard, we are exposed to ads with sexual undertones all over the place. Teens see them, too, and have an innate curiosity about it – especially when the models they see are people who appear to be about their own age.

Merely driving down the road, one can clearly see billboards that are sexually suggestive. Take, for instance, the new Mini billboards: “The paint is still wet. You?”

Face it, people, it’s right there, all around us, every single day, merely because, as advertisers would claim: Sex sells. However, there are things that you can do to keep your adolescent from buying into what our society sells so well.

So, do not think, even for one second, that you, as a parent, have been put into a full-nelson wrestling hold, because there are things you can do.

Aside from setting the parental controls on your home family computer, you can also talk to your children about which sites they frequently visit.

If they are members of social networking sites, then talk to them about the dangers of MySpace. Create your own profile and befriend your child. You will probably learn a lot about with whom they are spending most of their free time, and that will help keep you in the loop, and possibly save you from any unwanted surprises down the road.

Parents who make excuses like, “Oh, I can’t keep up with the quickly changing technology,” and ones who make comments such as, “My kid knows more about computers than I do,” are parents who are giving up too easily.

When parents take a step to create their own profile and become “friends” with their son or daughter, it helps keep them connected to their child and the social ring in which they fall.

What many parents do not realize is that their children want their mothers and fathers to be very much a part of their everyday lives.

Make sure your child’s television watching is restricted – especially late at night. If you ever find your mouth gaping at what you see and hear on the TV screen on prime time television, then that might leave your imagination soaring as to what comes on after you go to bed and your kid is still up watching TV. Set limits. You, the parent, have a right to do so.

Parents, you are more of an influence on your child’s life than you think. Even if they seem like they do the opposite of what you want them to, when they are with a group of friends, all those talks you have had regarding sex and abstinence with your child will come rushing to the forefront of her mind, and she will most likely make the right decision.

Peer pressure can be an issue, but parent pressure holds more weight on decision-making in social settings. They look up to you. They trust you. They realize you have been around longer and know more about what’s going on in the world than they do – even when they refuse to admit it.

The more you talk to your adolescents and teens about abstinence, the more likely they will be to practice it. Whether or not it is apparent to you, your teen is watching you and listening intently to your every word: never stop playing the positive role model, at any cost.

Resource: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=423280&ca=Parenting